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  那段时间我以为我是世界上最幸福的人!

  他们终于回去了。在他走的那个夜晚,我把自己埋在被中很痛快淋漓地哭了一场,也说不清为什么,我偷偷地跑到收发室,希望有他的信,又很怕收到,生怕片言只语就会破了我尚存的期待。那段日子,我像一个小女人,不停地反思回忆,最终发现自己并没做错什么,我把自己搅得很累很狼狈,心中却很不甘心,很憔悴。

  没有任何原因,没有什么先兆,后来他不再绕过那条长长的回廊来找我,后来他在老乡的聚会上对我客气地不自然……我奇怪极了,等他的解释,等了许多日子,终于成空;也曾想过去找他,去问一问,终于也没有,最初的矜持和自尊已被我因为爱而舍弃了。这一次,我再也做不到主动出击。

  我坐在上铺,居高临下地和他说了些多联系多关照的话,也许就在那个时候,我的最深最隐蔽的心底已经为他开启了一扇窗户,点亮了一盏灯。尽管,实际上我不是个随便的女孩,我也不相信一见钟情,但内心的真实的感觉却欺骗不了自己。

  等待的日子长如一个世纪;终于,在教室自己的抽屉里看到了只粉红色的纸叠的小鸟,很可爱很精致我从没看见过的那种。还记得他信中的一句话:尔雅,前面的路还很长,让我们试着一道走过吧!

  说实话,他说不上英俊,但很高大,看上去稳稳地,很沉着,有那种大男人的气概,给人很强的感觉;这符合我心中一向的审美,以及小女孩最初的那种憧憬。

  但是,后来一切都变了。

  日子就这么不咸不淡地过着,不久,老生要回家乡实习了,有一次在餐厅,他走过来,说晚上请我吃饭和我谈谈,其实我心里很想答应很想去弄个明白,嘴上却鬼使神差地拒绝了;旁边的好友后来直埋怨我,我隐隐地觉得自己害怕面对他,面对什么结果。我不是个坚强的人。


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